Why bother developing self-forgetfulness? (Part 2 of 2)
[A humble man] will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.
C. S. Lewis, Writer, scholar, and Anglican lay theologian (from Mere Christianity)
I recently stumbled across a thought-provoking piece of writing by a presbyterian pastor named Timothy Keller called The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness. In the piece, Keller draws on chapter three and four of St. Paul’s first epistle to the Corinthians, to describe what he terms the “Natural Condition of the Human Ego.”
He notes that St. Paul uses a special name when referring to an inflated ego, the Greek word ‘phusioó’ which translates to ‘puffed up.’ With his use of this word, St. Paul paints the image of a pair of bellows, a device used extensively in metallurgy to deliver streams of air to flickering fires to sustain them.
Keller expands on St. Paul’s image of the human ego to characterize it (pun unintended). He states that in its natural state, like a pair of inflated bellows, the human ego is empty, painful, busy, and fragile. If the image of the bellows is unfamiliar, one can picture the human ego as a balloon instead.
I quite like the image of a balloon, since it also captures the point that was made in the previous article, i.e. self-referential thought often contributes to sadness. Balloons are staple decorative items at celebrations, but no one attends a party to celebrate the balloons!
If human egos are like balloons, we exist to celebrate something that transcends us. Put differently, when a balloon at a party believes that it is the cause for the celebration—it is very quickly deflated.
What is a balloon? If not for air encased in a flexible membrane, it is empty! A balloon is nothing special, the more it tries to be special, the more obvious it becomes that this is not the case.
Next, a balloon is painful and fragile. The more air one blows into a balloon, the greater at risk it is of collapsing at a chance encounter with a mosquito. It is painfully distended the more air it tries to hold; is painfully loud when it meets a stab; and is painfully useless following a stab that announces that its time at the party has elapsed.
Finally, balloons are busy. If left untethered, they migrate across the room at the insistence of every passing draught of air.
What does this mean for us and our egos?
We often try to puff ourselves up with the air that society deems is respectable, prestigious, and worthwhile. What is this air? Broadly speaking it constitutes honour, power, wealth, and pleasure (Check: Sources for Further Thinkering).
We busy ourselves chasing after these things. We follow every new trend (draught of air), try to optimize our CVs to gain access to the top ranked colleges and companies. We attempt to learn those skills that ‘guarantee’ success. We try to emulate TIME’s most influential individuals, hoping that if we live like them, our lives will become like theirs—we too will be honourable, powerful, wealthy, and be able to enjoy all of life’s pleasures unperturbed by our everyday chaos.
We believe that if we attain more, the less empty we will be. However, in doing this, we simply become more painful and fragile because we end up more distended than before. The more puffed up we are with these things, the more we are at risk of bursting!
These are the social structures that I mentioned in the previous article that keep us thinking about ourselves and how we are performing in our lives.
Keller portrays this bleak image in his piece, but he also provides us with an antidote:
The only way we can escape the trap of ego inflation is by self-forgetfulness. When the balloon begins to ask itself who the party is for instead of believing that the party is for itself, it begins to look outward instead of inward. Eventually, it forgets itself and begins to enjoy being at the party!
In future articles, we shall decompose a few of the concepts that are central to responding to the question:
How can we develop self-forgetfulness?
Stay tuned!
Sources for Further Thinkering:
The Freedom Of Self-Forgetfulness – Timothy Keller
Summa Theologiae – St. Thomas Aquinas – The constituents of the air with which we puff ourselves up
Did this make you wonder?
What did this make you notice, remember, question, or see differently?
If this reflection added a little light to your day, you're welcome to .